Darling, you have too much free time.

The start of a blog is not unlike the start of a relationship. Between the initial hellos and can I have your number there’s that awkward silence. Both unsure on how to proceed; afraid of scaring the other by moving too quickly but also afraid of losing by moving too slowly. It’s really a balancing act, trying to find the perfect mix of boldness and reservation to keep them hooked without seeming overbearing.

Later in that getting to really know you stage that comes after a date over coffee mugs and holding hands in the theater, you are waiting by the phone just to breathlessly say hello and act like you weren’t sitting there willing the phone to ring while you email inbox lays open on the computer screen. Act nonchalant as you ask about their day when what you really mean is were you thinking about me. 

The start of a blog, begins with a single post; your hello. That first thrown together scrap of an introduction sends you spiraling into the blogsphere. You put yourself out there, unknown and alone. It’s a very vulnerable thing, even with the safe anonymity the internet provides. It’s arriving at a stranger’s party you weren’t invited to. Now, it is your job to mingle. And mingle you do. Then after passing out your number to the crowd, in the guise of wise words, congratulations and general conversation, you wait to hear back. You wait, refresh the page. Has anyone looked? What if they don’t like me? Refresh. 

In many similar ways, I fear rejection. Humans are social creatures after all. We all seek validation and love. I am here seeking among other seekers.  I hope we all find what we are looking for.

xo